Arms of the Angel
Dear reader,
I'm not sure if you know me. I'm not sure if you ever will. The heart monitors keep flashing, my oxygen machine trying to keep my lungs pumping. All I see is white, flickers of colors clouding my vision. The docors keep whispering, the nurses looking at me, and giving a pitying smile. It's the type of smile that your mom gives when your gold fish dies. The look that reads, "I'm sorry. I didn't know that fish like you did, but we'll find another one. A better one."
I've said things to people in the past. I've done things I'd rather forget. I try and love everyone; I've known people who can do that. I can't do it, though. I have too many feelings; too many swallowed words to love everyone. There are so many things I wish I had done. I never made a mark on the world; my passing will mean nothing. Family and friends will miss me, but they'll recover. Is it selfish to hope that my leaving will cause someone to feel as much of a loss as I wish they would? Is it alright to finally not wory about others? Is it ever okay to shut down, and have a small flicker of desire that someone will feel such a tremendous loss that they might want to search for me?
There are so many things in my life that I wish I had done. I had so many plans. I was going to travel to Paris, and become a chef. I was going to adopt teenagers from orphanges, even though they aren't as cute or innocent as babies. I was going to at least graduate from High School. I was at least going to go to Prom; have a boyfriend . . . first kiss.
People are always complaining how unfair life is. Karma isn't real. Good stuff rarely circles back. How else could you explain this? How else could you justify people dying who haven't even reached their mid-life crisis?
I'd like to apologize for the words that I've said. I'd like to apologize for the people I've hurt. Although I don't think it's very many, I want to be certain of something at this time.
Even though I've never met you, and it's possible I'll leave without you knowing this, life really is simple. Love everyone. Don't waste your time being angry or upset at people. Never let the sun set with a heavy heart.
So long, fair well, adeu.
<3
I'm not sure if you know me. I'm not sure if you ever will. The heart monitors keep flashing, my oxygen machine trying to keep my lungs pumping. All I see is white, flickers of colors clouding my vision. The docors keep whispering, the nurses looking at me, and giving a pitying smile. It's the type of smile that your mom gives when your gold fish dies. The look that reads, "I'm sorry. I didn't know that fish like you did, but we'll find another one. A better one."
I've said things to people in the past. I've done things I'd rather forget. I try and love everyone; I've known people who can do that. I can't do it, though. I have too many feelings; too many swallowed words to love everyone. There are so many things I wish I had done. I never made a mark on the world; my passing will mean nothing. Family and friends will miss me, but they'll recover. Is it selfish to hope that my leaving will cause someone to feel as much of a loss as I wish they would? Is it alright to finally not wory about others? Is it ever okay to shut down, and have a small flicker of desire that someone will feel such a tremendous loss that they might want to search for me?
There are so many things in my life that I wish I had done. I had so many plans. I was going to travel to Paris, and become a chef. I was going to adopt teenagers from orphanges, even though they aren't as cute or innocent as babies. I was going to at least graduate from High School. I was at least going to go to Prom; have a boyfriend . . . first kiss.
People are always complaining how unfair life is. Karma isn't real. Good stuff rarely circles back. How else could you explain this? How else could you justify people dying who haven't even reached their mid-life crisis?
I'd like to apologize for the words that I've said. I'd like to apologize for the people I've hurt. Although I don't think it's very many, I want to be certain of something at this time.
Even though I've never met you, and it's possible I'll leave without you knowing this, life really is simple. Love everyone. Don't waste your time being angry or upset at people. Never let the sun set with a heavy heart.
So long, fair well, adeu.
<3
posted by Louface at 8:29 AM
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