Blarg

Right. Well, this is a free-style poem I came up with during our "solo time" from the walk about. It's rather emo, but it helped me sort some stuff out. Please feel free to comment on it!

"Four years came and went, realization only hitting now.
16 years passed, and always the sister, always the friend.
Every detail changed, altered, tweaked.
Hundreds of dollars of make-up, hair-care, skin-care, and still not good enough.
Given-up hobbies, preferences, ideas.
Still not good enough.
Wasted hours, weeks, years.
Sifted, recycled time, minute here, moment there.
Sick. Sick to body, mind, soul.
Wasted.
New clothes, old clothes, something must please.
Anything.
Ignored days, talks, time.
Changed humor, personality, diet.
Good enough yet?
Didn't think so.
High school pressure, home and church.
Wanting so badly for acceptance, needing some reason to stay.
Sick.
Kidneys, fevers, gallbladder, stress.
So sick.
No visits, no calls, no word.
Prom came and went.
And yet no call.
Hospital; blood drawn, tested and tested again.
No call.
More make-up, more things to cover up.
Suffocated, can't breathe.
Too many things smothering, hiding.
Never good enough."